Facial Hair

I spend an excessive amount of time getting rid of excess hair on my body, particularly my face. I don't think I'm an overly hairy person, per se - I mean, I don't have back hair or anything. I take that back - I have ONE back hair - it grows out of a mole in the small of my back. When it's long enough to grab, I yank it out. I have another of those on the back of one arm - same scenario. What scares me most is that it's pretty darned long before I see it - who sees it before it I do?

Anyway, I have facial hair issues at the moment. Actually for the past couple of years. I have a bit of a moustache. It's blond and I can't see it myself unless the sun hits it just right in the bathroom mirror, which means that maybe I catch it once every couple of months or so - usually on a Saturday morning after walking. It stays fairly soft - sometimes I can feel it moving if I'm outside on a breezy day, and that's another clue it's time to come off. I run to the nearest hair salon and have it waxed off.

In the corners of my smile (a reason NOT to smile) are three dark whiskers. They aren't soft, and they aren't blond. They're dark and stiff and grow straight out. Those I can see. I spend quite a bit of time in the bathroom looking for those dark whiskers and when I find them...PLUCK! They're gone. For a month or so. Lately I've noticed more and more whiskers. These aren't dark. They're invisible to the eye. They sprout from my chin. I have to feel for these because I can't see them. I can't see them on my chin but when they land in the sink, I wonder how I couldn't see them.

I consulted a laser hair removal specialist about getting rid of the troublesome hair and was told that lasers will only work on dark hairs and mine simply aren't dark enough. So it's up to me to keep my face hair free, smooth to the touch, kissably soft, etc. As I said, I spend a fair amount of time on this particular task.

The other morning, I got out of the shower and towel dried my hair. I pulled the towel away and with my damp hair going every which way, I inspected for the latest facial hair growth. I didn't find any in the smile corners, and I didn't find any on my chin. Instead, I found one growing out of the middle of my forehead.

It was so white it glowed. It was nearly an inch long. I can't imagine where it has been hiding all this time. At first I figured it was a stray hair from the top of my head and attempted to swipe it away, but it kept reappearing. I realized it was a part of me when I was finally able to get a hold of it and actually pulled skin away from my forehead in that attempt. Out came the tweezers. The hair was so fine the tweezers couldn't get it. It wasn't quite long enough for me to get a good grip with my fingers, either. I tried both and gave up.

Yep, it's still there.

When I get old(er), it will be up to my daughters to keep me respectable looking by tweezing or wheeling me out of the nursing home for a quarterly waxing. Who loves you, girls? Your Momma!